Saree Not Sorry
Saree Not Sorry is a series of work comprised of painting, textiles, performance and installation. Initially informed by the interpersonal moments of my mother draping a saree on me, this series uses Bangla text, pattern and the saree to comment on the paradox of openness within intimate moments of secrecy. As the series develops, it demonstrates how the act of confession is challenged within the private and public sphere.
Written passage for Saree Not Sorry:
'The vulnerability and physical exposure I feel when my mother puts a saree on me, made me interrogate the things I have hidden from her. I examine this undisclosed part of myself during the intimacy shared in this familiar dress ritual. As I’m reminded of my incompetence to drape the saree by myself, I am also reminded of the things I have hidden from her and the things I want to share with her. In this moment, why do I feel like confessing all? It made we want to drop the weight of the things I cannot share. The secrets sat heavy like the pleats below my belly button. But with this yearning for confession, I feel comfort and love as she tucks and folds on the fabric for me. Making sure it’s perfect sculpted to my body.
The very thread of this fabric, of this saree, holds the weight of Bangla cryptic patterns. I am confessing unapologetically whilst still hiding my truth.’
'Saree Not Sorry' first exhibited at Pressure Makes Diamonds. RichMix, London (2018)
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Saree Not Sorry in Pressure Makes Diamonds (2018)
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Saree Not Sorry: First Performance at Pressure Makes Diamonds (2018)
The performance consisted of me draping the saree with the loose fabric whilst still being attached to the canvas hanging on the wall. Having to navigate my movements whilst still maintaining enough composure for the frame to remain hung, extended the notion of being vulnerable. My movements were sluggish and exaggerated to make it seem like the fabric was heavy. This was to elaborate the weight of secrecy.
The Text & Pattern
I used Bangla text to construct my own cryptic pattern. The pattern was created through writing a secret in Bangla and visually reconfiguring it, making it illegible to the Bengali reader. I constructed this pattern into a wooden block print, to reference the traditional process of textile block-printing in Bangladesh.
Wooden block print of patterned text used on the first Saree Not Sorry piece which was exhibited in Pressure Makes Diamonds (2018) Group Show.
The second performance draws attention to pattern through movement and light. Due to the transparency of light and its nature to reveal, I expanded on the paradox of being visible and invisible. I projected the pattern as I attempted to cover both myself and the projection. Similar to the first performance, the weight of this 'confession' is still resembled through how I carry the fabric. Going back to how the pattern is the cryptic language of my confession, the interaction made me think about how secrecy can transform and change shape too, depending on its visibility.
